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by 4myeyesonly
( 21, Female from Georgia, USA )
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Treating myself.
04-22-11 02:42 PM
I'm working on things. It has felt good to finally get all my shit out of my system. I've cried and talked and cried some more. It's been a few weeks that I've just been bottling it up and it was getting to the point that I couldn't control it anymore. I hate being out of control. I hate feeling like a whore. I hate being treated like dirt. My uncle says that I should let the air out of his tires. Don't mess them up, don't slash them, don't key his truck. Just let the air out. I kind of think it's a good idea. But childish. And what does that make me? Same as him. *sigh*. I won't lie..I just want to get even. Haha.
In other news..it cost 60 fucking dollars to just APPLY to college. Fuck this shit man. That irritates me. How am I ever going to pay for all this? =(.
I vented to my friend Michael today. After that I treated myself to a hair cut. It feels a lot better. Not as heavy. It's basically the same style just shorter. I'm thinking about going darker again. Getting some reddish brown lowlights or something. Again, money money. I have the house to myself for the weekend which will be nice in a way. Seems like friends are few and far between right now though. Both Paul and Trey's gfs are on spring break this week. Yeah they are both dating high schoolers. *rolls eyes*. Either way, they are spending lots of time with them and I kind of feel out of the loop. I think things changed between me and Paul last week when we were drinking at Trey's house and I prayed to the porcelain god..a few times. I'm probably just looking too far into it. I need to stop overthinking..overanalyzing. I'm going to end up fucking myself again and not in the good way either.
I don't have any plans for Easter besides heading down to St. Mary's where my grandparents live and having dinner with them. I haven't talked to them much recently so I have to redeem myself before I start getting the tears from my grandfather. Gawd he knows how to guilt trip me hardcore.
I think I'm going to continue spoiling myself and go bowling alone. I'd rather have someone to go with, but that's ok. Maybe some time to myself will be good for me.
In other news..it cost 60 fucking dollars to just APPLY to college. Fuck this shit man. That irritates me. How am I ever going to pay for all this? =(.
I vented to my friend Michael today. After that I treated myself to a hair cut. It feels a lot better. Not as heavy. It's basically the same style just shorter. I'm thinking about going darker again. Getting some reddish brown lowlights or something. Again, money money. I have the house to myself for the weekend which will be nice in a way. Seems like friends are few and far between right now though. Both Paul and Trey's gfs are on spring break this week. Yeah they are both dating high schoolers. *rolls eyes*. Either way, they are spending lots of time with them and I kind of feel out of the loop. I think things changed between me and Paul last week when we were drinking at Trey's house and I prayed to the porcelain god..a few times. I'm probably just looking too far into it. I need to stop overthinking..overanalyzing. I'm going to end up fucking myself again and not in the good way either.
I don't have any plans for Easter besides heading down to St. Mary's where my grandparents live and having dinner with them. I haven't talked to them much recently so I have to redeem myself before I start getting the tears from my grandfather. Gawd he knows how to guilt trip me hardcore.
I think I'm going to continue spoiling myself and go bowling alone. I'd rather have someone to go with, but that's ok. Maybe some time to myself will be good for me.
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