Well, I'm back in Florida. I'm happy about it. I miss my Chipmunks, but I'm left with a really odd feeling about Brandon. I mean, we wouldn't date in any case if I were in Washington, but that doesn't mean that I didn't start to like him again...

The other thing being with him did is make me long for a real relationship. I'm very tired of just dating and never having anything become a committed long-term relationship. Brandon and I had a very good relationship, for most of it, and I really miss that feeling.

But there's no one, and my mind is still in several places... Now I'm thinking about Brandon, but still, Rory is always part of my life... and there's a part of me that still hasn't given up on Andy, no matter how awful he's been... Where is the room in that for a real boyfriend? And none of these boys are even in the same state as me!

Bah, I'm a mess... I feel like I don't even have the capacity to love anymore. Like, I feel different than I did two years ago. I feel like I've hidden my heart away so no one can hurt it, but now I can't get it back out.

Anyway, I'm going to go to sleep. Now that I'm used to Pacific time, my body thinks it's only 9:30. At least I don't work till 3pm tomorrow. Back to the Land!!!

G'night!