( 28, Female )
02-17-13 07:00 PM
It has been a crazy past few days.
Well honestly, I've just spent the past 48 hours playing Grand Theft Auto, but creating a gang empire and shooting those Ballas out takes a lot out of me, okay?
Valentine's Day was much different than I expected, but it really was an exhausting work week. By the time Friday (my day off) came around, I didn't want to leave the house. I just wanted to spend time with Jarrett. We were going to celebrate Valentines Day on that day, but I was just so freaking touched by what he did for me ON Valentine's Day, that I called it off and said it was silly to go out and buy chocolates and flowers and cards when he already had done so much.
On Sunday, I was feeling awful, so he bought me a dozen yellow roses- my favorite color! I think they are prettier than red, to be honest. He gave me a card that said, "To my little flower" :)
Then, on VDay, Pest control came to take care of my apartment, and I totally FORGOT to leave a note with some specific concerns. I didn't even put Lucy away. But Jarrett was there when they came, and he told them about everything and made sure that the chemicals they were going to use to fix the issue wasn't going to hurt Lucy in any way. He took care of the whole thing, and I didn't even have to worry about it. He brought me a single red rose to work, and then he made dinner (which involved heating up leftovers, which was really easy, but still appreciated) and we had plans to go the Dallas Symphony. He bought me a DSO shirt, which I have always wanted, and I am just so happy about it. On the way back, we stopped at this gas station that had Dean Koontz audio books. I LOVE listening to them, and Jarrett suggested we get one. I paid for it, but I was so happy that he was open to listening to it, and after a little while, he really started to enjoy it, it seemed! I'm so happy to be able to share a new interest with him.
He is also really helping me stay focused on ballet! I have been stretching and practicing, and he's always around, so he knows that I'm putting work into it, and I'm careful about what I'm eating, and now he's started to call me his little ballerina, which is REALLY motivating for me to stay on track and keep improving!
We recently had another engagement talk. The overall history of this talk in a nutshell is that we've known we're going to get married from pretty much the first month we started dating. I assumed we were going to get engaged before he went to grad school, but when we really talked it over, we decided to wait until his last semester of grad school so the engagement would logically lead to marriage in a short time. But as I had time to think about it, and as it becomes more real that we are really moving across the country and moving in together, I just feel it in my gut that we should have more of a commitment than what we have now. More of a foundation to handle the stress of moving and grad school. I know we're committed, but if we're not engaged, there is always the thought running in the back of our heads, however small, that believes that there is a possibility that we will break up and that somebody else is meant for us. This actually has come into play in some of the bigger obstacles we've had to navigate, and it really had affected the way that I dealt with the issue. Instead of whole heartedly committing to finding a solution because we're a team, I figured that if we couldn't get over this, it's just not meant to be.
I felt it was detrimental to our relationship to move without that commitment and understanding in place. So we prayed about it and talked about it, and he decided that we are going to get engaged within the next six months.
At first, I was REALLY HAPPY. And then I started freaking out. But then I talked to one of my best friends, and she told me that this makes perfect sense. I mean, I'm not doubting Jarrett, but the whole idea of moving across the country and living together and being somebody's FIANCE is... well, I haven't really done that before! Except the moving across the country part. It's just going to be a lot of stuff to deal with and I have no idea what is going to happen in the future, and the unknown is freaking me out and maybe I should go with the hermit plan and hole up and practice, you know?
Anyway, my friend said that it sounds like a really smart idea to get engaged before we set out on this next chapter. We are committing to our life together, and when we are engaged to be married, we will stop thinking about what is best for Jarrett or what is best for Katy, and we'll starting thinking about what is best for US, for our team. We already have that mentality for the most part, but like I said, as just boyfriend and girlfriend, that is definitely challenged in times of trouble.
I am excited, because this means we can REALLY fully start working towards our lives together! It's so exciting to think about what traditions WE want and what OUR home will be like, and how we want to spend OUR life, and I know 100 percent that my life is better and richer with Jarrett on my team :)
The terrifying thing is that I don't have ANY CLUE how to start looking for a ring! I guess we need to set a budget and I have to google away!