I posted these on myspace about one year ago.  Its strange in some ways, they apply today, in others, they don't.  I miss him sometimes, and while I refuse to grieve myself about to death this time; I know in my head I just don't get it.  I'm stuck, and I'm not sure how to keep going, I'm not sure how to pick myself back up.  I'm not sure of anything for the first time, in years.

When Tom broke my heart, I had a helper picking myself up, and while I'm not broken hearted this time; I just suppose that mentally in my head I don't understand.  I have unanswered questions, and no chance of answers. 

To explain my tattoo I got, because I know most people don't get it.  This is my interpertation: a frozen heart with windows, means while I've encased my heart in ice from all the bad things that have happened, there is still someone inside there living, breathing, and wanting to be loved.  You've got to figure out how to melt the ice, and the windows of who I am can show you that way, but only if you're worth letting the ice melt.

*“We're born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we're not alone.”

*Trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never met.

*Real loss only occurs when you lose something that you love more than yourself.

*I thought I loved him, but he had to break my heart for me to know what true love really is.

*Time goes by, life goes on, and all I can think of is why you're gone.

*If I could have one lifetime wish, one wish that would come true, I'd pray to God with all my heart, for yesterday...and you!

*I can't escape the thought of you. Even in my dreams you are there. It's not fair how your gone, and how you're moving on so fast, while I am still living in the past.

*I was finally getting over you and actually believing I didn't need you. I was finally accepting you had another girl. Then you smiled at me and ruined it all.

*Don't ever give up if you still want to try, don't ever wipe your tears if you still want to cry. Don't ever settle for an answer if you still want to know. Don't ever say you don't love him if you can't let him go.

*How can I forget you when your always on my mind? How can I not want you when your all I want inside? How can I let you go when I can't see us apart? How can I not love you when you control my heart?

*Loving you was easy, losing you was hard. Loving you is still easy, but knowing you are no longer mine, is the hardest of it all.

*Once you find someone you really love try your hardest not to lose them, because you will never get over the feeling of loneliness.

*One day you'll love me, the way I loved you. One day you'll think of me the way I thought of you. One day you'll cry for me, the way I cried for you. One day you'll want me, but I won't want you.

*You said you didn't want to see me get hurt, so does that mean you closed your eyes when I cried?

*Don't say we're not right for each other, the way I see it, we're not meant for anyone else.

*You hurt me more than I deserve, how can you be so cruel? I love you more than you deserve, why am I such a fool?

*It's amazing how you make your face just like a wall, how you take your heart and turn it off, how I turn my head and lose it all.

*Breaking up is just like having the worst nightmare after having the best dream.

*Every few nights or so you pop into my dreams, I just can't get rid of you like you got rid of me.

*Without you there is no love.
Without you there is no me.
Without you there is nothing.
So I'm asking, baby, please don't leave.

*I cry because I know he doesn't feel the way I do. I cry because I think of how pathetic I am, and I cry because I think I'll be crying forever.

*The worst thing is holding on to someone who doesn't want to be held on to.

*A million words wouldn't bring you back. I know because I've tried. Neither would a million tears. I know because I've cried!

*It's hard to tell your mind to stop loving someone, when you're heart still does.

*We cannot beg someone to stay if they want to leave and be with someone else. We have to admit that love doesn't give us the license to own a person. This is what love means...sacrifice.

*Sometimes I wish I had never met you because then I could go to bed at night not knowing there was someone like you out there.

*How can I promise you forever when tomorrow is so far away from me? How can I dry your tears when I have a bleeding heart inside of me? how can I ever forget you when your name is etched so deep within me?

*It's like my mind knows what's right but my heart is being retarded and still cares.

*If I could be anyone at this moment, I'd be her so you'd love me too.

*When you love him - truly love him, how are you supposed to get over him? I've tried everything possible ... but I just can't. Isn't that what true love is?

*I don't know what to do now that we're apart; I don't know how to live without the other half of my heart.

*Who do you run to when the only person who can make you stop crying, is exactly the one who is making you cry?

*I wish you would turn around and say, I desperately need you. I wish you would say you're sorry because that's all you'd have to do. But most of all I wish you knew how much I need you and how much I really do love you.

*You'll never understand why I hurt so much because you're not the one who is crying, you're not the one who is left behind, you're not the one who loved too much, and you're not the one who is holding on to someone who is gone...

*I was born the day you kissed me, died the day you left me, but lived for the time that you loved me.

*Cupid shot a love arrow into my back without asking for my consent. Once again, he didn't ask for my consent when he took it back out. Is this fair?

*Our relationship can be best described as a crumpled piece of paper; no matter how hard you try to straighten it out, it'll never take on its true form.

*It's been a year: winter, summer, spring and fall, but being without you just ain't living anything at all. If I could travel back in time, I'd relive the days you were mine.

*Have you ever cried your eyes out until all the tears in this world have dried, and yet the sourness in your heart still hasn't gone? That's when the person causing you the pain is the only one you ever loved.

*When your tears feel like acid rain, when you can't breathe and it becomes physical pain, you know you've lost a love of a lifetime. When you try to speak but nothing comes, when you hear a song and cry from the lyrics, the rhythm, the beat of the drums, you know you've lost a love of a lifetime. When people keep telling you it'll get better, just give it time when really each day my pain gets stronger knowing you're not mine, you know you've lost a love of a lifetime.

*Some people say that you don't know what you have until you lose it, but it's not like that... I always knew what I had, I just never thought I would lose it.

*You're the reason I love and the reason I'd die. You're the reason I smile yet break down and cry. You're the reason I keep going and the reason I fall. I love you so much and you don't even care at all.

*He touched my heart with a thousand pleasures and broke it into million pieces.

*Once your heart gets broken you start to see cracks in everything.

*I have these pictures and I keep these photographs, to remind me of a time; these pictures and these photographs let me know I'm doin' fine, I used to make you happy, once upon a time. I don't talk to you too much these days, I just thank the lord pictures don't fade. Now all that's left is these pictures of you....

*They say that if you love someone you should let them go, but they never say what to do when they don't come back.

*A song that could only once make me smile, can now only make me cry.

*Jealous of the one who's arms are around you and she's keeping you satisfied. She's a very, very lucky girl, and you know, I'd fight a good fight if I thought I'd change your mind, but if she makes you happy then I'll leave the dream behind. But, she'd better treat you right and give you everything, because the moment that she doesn't, I'll be waiting in the end ....

*Why is it that I finally convince my mind that I am over you, then I see you and my heart takes over and screws everything up? Why do you have that power over me if we cannot be together?

*Love is the hardest drug to quit, but it is even harder when it is taken away.

*How do I make my heart start healing when it has never stopped beating for you?

*I never knew I could feel so much pain, and yet be so in love with the person causing it.

*People ask how I feel, that's the problem - I don't.

*Thinking of you is easy - I do it every day. Missing you is the heartache, that never goes away.

*After a year of having to live without you, I've realized I lost me when I lost you; I miss you.

* wish I was a little girl again, because scraped knees are easier to heal than a broken heart.

*I always knew that looking back on the tears would make me laugh; but I never knew that looking back to the laughs would make me cry.

*Too many years fighting back tears, why can't the past just die?

*The problem with love is, that you can love anyone you want, but so can he.

*I can't seem to erase all the memories of you. No matter how hard I try it's something I can't do.

*I don't try to remember us but when I do, it brings a smile to my lips and a tear to my eye.

*No one can ever promise you they will never hurt you, because at one time or another it will happen. The real promise is if the time you spent together will be worth the pain in the end.

*You knew I loved you. You knew I cared. Then, why when I needed you, you were never there?

*Before I met you, I had every reason to cry but didn't. Now that you're gone, the tears won't stop falling.

*What is more painful - thinking that you should hate him, or knowing that you can't?

*In life, you broke my heart and left and took my joy of everything with you. But at night, as I sleep and dream, you are still mine and no one can take that away from me.

*I still love you with every broken piece of my heart. I'm still wondering why you took it, then tore it apart. I wonder what I did wrong, that made you let me go. I'm still hoping that one day, you will let me know ....

*It's better now. Sometimes, there are whole days when I think of you only now and then.

*If I had only one wish for you, my love, it would be for you to someday be able to love someone as much as I have always loved you.