Dreaming... by russelllindsey9
Taking Out the Trash - Again and Again
04-03-06

Through the tears and all those years, you are still here - on my mind.
What did I do to deserve this torture, all of this pent up angst?
You made me question everything and anything - even all that's kind.
All I can say now is that I'll always dream and wonder - thanks.

What purpose did you serve, really?  You simply led me on, just out of reach.
You led me to a wonderful man, whom I love as I could never have loved you.
But why are you even a glimmer in the back of my mind?  A weakness?  A mess?
Everything - all memories, all thoughts, all dreams tied to you - all still there.

You nearly led me to make the biggest mistake of my life.  I'm just glad I didn't.
A dive of a Mexican bar, good people, cheap Corona, and "November Rain."
"Casablanca" late at night, calling you from Austin, and a coincidental near fatal crash.
Going back further...  late night dinner at a great Italian restaurant in the heart of Madrid.

Somehow, my dreams of us ruined spring break that year; I held it open just for you and me.
And that weekend that never happened in late April - you'd have loved Granada, I know you would.
How about the funny/sad moments in the park?  I wanted to kiss you then and there.  Slowly, deeply.
But you left me crying in the dank, dark hostel you picked out for me.  Never been so fiercely alone.

Further back yet, how it all started.  Interesting coincidences, two fiery personalities that wouldn't quit.
Lunch on campus, a few laughs, and lots of enthusiasm about all things Ecuadorian.  You ate it up.
The orphanage, the story about my Grandfather's death, and late night pizza and beer in your room.
Do you remember meeting on campus, and how you captured my heart in Mexico, the first time?

It is still there, our uncanny ability to end up at the same place at the same exact time.  It's true.
When I go to a White Sox game someday, I just know that I'll run into you - and I won't care.
I won't care about the past, I'll treat and look upon you as a friend - nothing more or less.
Face it.  You had your shot a long, long time ago - And I meant nothing to you at all.

I just wish I could separate  you from all of the memories, hopes, and old dreams.
Instead, I'll cherish it forever and keep it in the dark recesses of my heart.
The romance is long gone, but the memories will always remain.
The memories and the stories.  Order to chaos.

Current Mood: Cool


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